IB Psychology HL - Relationships - Analyse Why Relationships Change/End

• communication styles

• perceived fairness

• commitment: extent of accommodation (of each other)

Sternberg (1986) suggested the triangular theory of love, which focuses on 3 factors:
- intimacy (feeling bonded/connected)
- passion (romance and attraction)
- commitment (desire to maintain the relationship in spite of any potential hardships)

• Sternberg noted that all couples appeared to increase mutual commitment and intimacy over time, and the extent of development was a good predictor of whether the couple would be successful or not

• many psychologists agree that intimacy and commitment are v v important

Buunk (1998):

• building intimacy is dependent on being able to communicate openly

• one of the most significant differences between happy and unhappy couples lies in the way they communicate

• couples that are focused on problem solving and open communication are generally happier

study: Gottman et al (2003)

• tested conflict management between older and younger married couples

• 156 married couples were asked not to talk to each other for 8 hours prior to the experiment

• asked to discuss 3 topics in the laboratory

• physiological measurements (e.g. heart rate) were taken

• 3 topics were: their experiences during the day, 1 pleasant topic, and 1 topic of disagreement between them

• discussions were recorded on video and different emotions were observed

• noted that older couples that had been together longer communicated more affection

• also noted that older couples could communicate with their partner in a way that avoids negative results

• thus communication styles change over time in order to maintain relationships

The Equity Theory

• there must be a balance between the two partners in a relationship (i.e. fairness)

• people will compare their gains to that of the partner’s – if they find the comparison unfavorable they may look for alternatives

Support:
Buss and Shackelford (1997): sexual dissatisfaction and conflict (related to jealousy) were linked to thoughts of infidelity

Against:
Clark and Mills (1979):
- romantic relationships are based on sharing and belonging, NOT equity principles
- partners respond to each other’s needs to feel a sense of intimacy

Rusbult et al. (1991):

• suggested the investment model of commitment

• based on the idea that accommodation is necessary to maintain a relationship
  i. e. a person must be willing to adopt a constructive approach and inhibit the impulse to react in kind when a partner displays destructive behaviour

Support: Murray and Holmes (1997):

• over time people in committed relationships tend to form idealized versions of their partners

• this idealization was positively associated with fewer conflicts and higher satisfaction

• confidence in partner → sense of security → accommodation

• but also notes that idealization can threaten a relationship if the idealized partner can’t live up to the expectations